


The Future, After All That Present or Memories We Keep

by bloodsuitsandtears



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Artist Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Baker Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, I used way too many tropes now Idk what tags to use, M/M, despite its inspiration, happy end, it's only rated T cause there is swearing at some point, let me know if I forgot anything, the following tags are there but not too prominent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodsuitsandtears/pseuds/bloodsuitsandtears
Summary: they ask me to rememberbut they want me to remembertheir memoriesand i keep on rememberingmine- Lucille Clifton
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was heavily inspired by "Ricordi?"  
> It was haunting me for days before I started writing (initially it was also supposed to be for another ship)  
>   
> Thanks so much to Ato, Abbie, Christine, Del, Ebba, Emma, L, Lin, Nora, Kira, and all the other people from discord and slack that I forgot to mention  
> I couldn't have done this without you all <3
> 
> This is my very first work in this fandom , so please be kind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "they ask me to remember  
> but they want me to remember  
> their memories  
> and i keep on remembering  
> mine"  
> \- Lucille Clifton

  
He woke up, reaching out for a person next to him. Only there was no one there, hadn’t been for over a year. He remembered the rare times when they both had a morning off and would just stay in bed forever, basking in each other's presence. It was nice to think about for a moment, missing the other man there. Then Joe sighed and remembered why it hadn’t worked out. All the little things that aggravated and agitated each other. They broke up, he had moved away to take that one job. And that was good. For a while.  
Maybe it was time to put himself back out there, as his colleagues were saying. They’ve been trying to convince him to go on a night out with them for months, maybe it was time. 

  


_“How is it everybody loves you here? Not that they shouldn't, you're lovely- oh. Oh, oops…”_

  


__

“Can you leave the sauce alone just for a minute? Please. I really need to talk to you” 

  


__

He had settled well in the new town, the new job, making new friends easily; so going out again was the next step.  
The night out had been nice actually. He hadn’t noticed how much he had missed socialising like this. He had always liked people and getting to know them with genuine interest. Going out with colleagues became a regular thing and a couple more or less successful dates were the result of it. With time he found himself in a new relationship. It was slow and gentle and sweet. It just worked. After two years they decided together that they wanted more commitment and decided to get engaged. 

-  


  


Life was good. He had work he loved, acceptable colleagues sometimes. He was happy, or happy enough at least. Not struggling financially like a couple of years ago. Finally being able to live on his own. Not to worry about anyone else beside him. _Not to worry about anyone else beside him._ Nicky banned the thought quickly and went back to finishing those damn hors d'oeuvres.  
A few years ago he had finally decided to go partly freelance, but that also meant to help out friends and old colleagues sometimes even if it was for an unnecessary posh engagement party (at least in his mind). They had asked if he minded staying for a bit minding the bar and the buffet. It’s more money, they said. Well, what else did he have to do on a fine Saturday. The chocolate and cherry loaf he wanted to try could wait another day.  
Why had they had to insist on a corn and pomegranate salad, he had sworn years ago to never look at a pomegranate again, as his boyfriend back then had insisted on the fruit for one of their brunches. 

  


_“I miss waking up_ with _you not just next to you. We’re too busy and never see each other anymore”_

  


_“Did you just bless the bread?! What was that?”_

  


  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Interlude - How they met

  
**An interlude**  
  
  
Their story was best told together as their experience of their very first meeting differed hugely.

  


“He was my knight in shining armour and walked me home that night, well it was morning… The sun rose and he was bathed in that purple orange glow like a celestial being” Joe would then look over, beaming and smiling at Nicky like he truly was his saviour. 

  


Nicky would roll his eyes and sit up to put the story right, although he can’t hide the tiniest of smiles. “It was after my shift, the Saturday “party shift”. We were both tired and sweaty. And you were drunk sitting on the curb outside the cafe on your own. You had that loopy smile when you looked up at me like you were remembering something nice.” 

  


“I so rarely drink, so thought I would just sit there until I sobered up and would remember where I lived. You were so lovely and kind and gentle. You helped me up and asked where I lived without any bad intent. Having only lived in the town for a couple of days at that point I tried looking around to see if I recognised anything but my eyes ended back on him every time.” They would share a look at that, having whole unspoken conversations. 

  


“It was the weekend before “freshers week” so I was still feeling kind and not fed up with all the new students yet. I just wanted to make sure you were not going to be sick or that no one would take advantage of you. I was really looking forward to going to sleep, but I also couldn’t just let you wander off on your own, you’d end up in the sea sooner or later.” 

  


_  
“Let me get you some water”  
“I shouldn't accept drinks from strangers”  
“You're right. Should we go back inside together, so you can watch the barkeep getting your water, ok?”  
“I'd follow you anywhere” Joe would blush but happily accept the stranger's hand. _

_“Two black coffees, please. Just take it from my tips, Sara, I don’t any have money on me”  
Joe was just in awe and didn’t listen properly, distracted by the stranger’s profile. He had let go of Joe’s hand only to push a hot drink into them. Joe wasn’t really a coffee drinker but happily cradled this particular cup.  
When they were standing back outside again Joe couldn’t hold back his words “How is it everybody loves you in there? Not that they shouldn't, you're lovely- oh. oh. oops…”  
  
Nicky didn't mind the awkward silence as he wanted to know where this would go.  
“What I mean is, you look so at home there and familiar. I feel like such an outsider, not knowing anyone, finding my feet.” Joe looked at his feet and actually giggled.  
What a delightful sound, Nicky thought and smiled brightly despite the exhaustion that was settling in. “I'll tell you my secret once we get you home safely...” _


	3. Chapter 3

Nicky was cursing the couple that got engaged, stupid pomegranate. He might even get behind on the aesthetics of the fruit but getting all the seeds out was just a pain. Plus his fingers would be stained pink all day. 

There were a lot of posh and fancy looking guests, most definitely not his own preferred crowd. However, some tipped well when they got their drinks, plus they got a lot of compliments on the food. And if Nicky let his own business card slip into some conversations, well a guy had to live. 

  
  


“Oh I was excited all day for this...”

  
Nicky almost dropped a bottle. He’d recognise that voice anywhere. Shit. Of course! How did he not think of that? How many people actually liked corn and pomegranate salad in this world? His flight reflex kicked in and he almost ran over his colleague in the process, both cursing loudly definitely drew attention from the guests at the buffet. Shit. 

“Nicky?” 

-

Getting engaged had been a quiet affair. It had just made sense to them as most things in their relationship. It was comfortable, they rarely had arguments. No strong opinions on each other's pasts, they were living in the now. Each having his own hobbies and work. Joe even had his own little studio at home, no art supplies strewn across the whole flat anymore. 

-

_ “Can you not use my paint mug for your coffee” _

_ - _

_ “Can you not put your paint brushes next to the food” _

-

Only a couple of Joe’s artworks, carefully framed, hung in the living room. They’re not even his favourites, but they had both liked them well enough. Sometimes he missed the more experimental things he was able to do during university, now there really wasn’t time or it was too much of a risk for most clients and he couldn’t afford to lose any, not when he still planned to go freelance or start his own firm at a later point. Graphics design and illustrations became his full time job. Being a fine artist wasn’t really a viable career apparently. Or at least in some people’s opinion. And now whatever art he made for himself was mostly seen as a hobby by people around him. 

_ - _

_ “You forgot to set your alarm. So I’m calling you to make sure you’re awake, because you have that very important hand-in today. Your work is amazing! Go get that A+ or whatever grades they give out nowadays, you deserve it. I see you later, love you”  _

-

The engagement party was nice but busy, how did they know so many people? Joe didn’t recognise half of them. And every time he tried to excuse himself to finally get something to drink or to eat somebody would come over to congratulate and talk to him.    
He was starving. As kind and polite as possible he finally managed to dodge most people and was determined to get closer to some food. They had picked a fairly new catering firm but their food had been amazing, so he didn’t just want to leave everything to the guests. 

He made it and Joe looked at the corn and pomegranate salad like it was the holy grail. 

“Oh I was excited all day for this...”

The sudden outburst of cursing in at least two different languages made him finally look up. 

“Nicky?” 

How long had it been? 5 years? 6? Nicky was the last person Joe would have expected to see at his engagement party. 

  
  


“Hi… what can I get you?” Nicky had regained some of his poise and tried to stay professional, but his brain short circuited “Wait, don’t tell me. I got you” 

Joe was being unusually quiet, his mind rushing to find something appropriate to say.

In the same time Nicky went to grab one of the non-alcoholic fruit drinks they had especially made, got a slice of fresh bread to put in the biggest bowl of the salad he could find, and put it all in front of Joe “There you go” 

“Thank you, that’s just what I wanted” Joe just stared at him, still looking for something to say. 

“Nobody is really eating the salad so feel free to stop by later to take the leftovers home”    
Damn it, this was really not necessary, Nicky chided himself.    
“Enjoy the rest of the party” 

“Thank you” 

  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

__

_ “Your novelty mug collection is getting out of hand! I don’t have space for anything!”  _

_ “80% of the kitchen cabinets are full of your stuff! You have ALL the space!” _

_ Nicky let out a sigh of relief when Joe left that morning to go to his lectures. _

_ When did it become like this? That he'd prefer quiet and solitude over Joe’s presence. _

_ Nicky considered indulging in a nap, to which Joe might have said he was just being lazy or did not want to face reality. There was a small chance that he might have been right.  _

-

Wasn’t it normal to think back to your very first serious relationship sometimes? Especially when it informed so much of who you are? Maybe this is what he needed to close the matter before diving into marriage. 

When Joe was about to leave the engagement party he had stopped at the buffet again where a food container full to the brim with salad was waiting for him. One of the other caterers slipped him a business card, just in case. Nicky was nowhere to be seen. 

“Being nice to the staff sure gets you some perks” Joe’s partner had said looking at the food container, and Joe just clutched it closer to him. 

-

_ “Why is there art of you hanging up in the university!?” Joe burst into the cafe ignoring all the other patrons and going straight up to the bar. Nicky came around the counter to meet him, not really wanting to have an argument so publicly. He led Joe to one of the nooks on the side.  _

_ “Tell me”  _

_ They hadn’t been dating for very long at that point and Nicky wasn’t sure what to do with a Joe who was buzzing with emotion.  _

_ “I- well, money was tight for a while so I modeled for some of the live drawing classes a couple of times. No big deal.”  _

_ “It kind of is when there's a nude painting of your b- your…” Joe sighed and gestured to Nicky “well, _ you _ ” _

-

In the next couple of days more greys and greens had found their way into Joe’s work, not colours he used a lot usually.    
The business card from the catering business was burning a metaphorical hole into his wallet where he had kept it. After thinking about it for a week, he finally called the number on an impulsive whim without knowing what to say. 

“Oh, Nicky doesn’t work here… But I can give you _ his  _ business number” 

Giving himself no time to think about it Joe called the number, it rang a couple of times, he was close to hanging up, before the line clicked and there was an exasperated sigh at the other end.

_ “All The Food Is Mine _ Catering, how can I help?... Are-- are you ok? “ 

Joe was just laughing at the other end and just couldn’t stop and almost forgot to breathe in the process. 

“If you just called to make fun of me, I have cakes to make-”

“No! Wait! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh but I really wasn’t expecting you having named your business that” 

“Well, it’s memorable and just very true, as you know” 

“Mh” They were both quiet for a moment neither really knowing where this was supposed to be going. 

“Why are you calling, Joe?” 

Pause.

“I- I just wanted to say thank you for the salad. And… ehm… wouldyouwanttogoforcoffeesometime? or tea? just... casual” Oh you idiot, Joe thought of himself.

There was a small pause at the other end.    
“Sure... You know the bistro at the arts centre?” 

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

_“Did you just try calling me your boyfriend?”_

_“Maybe? I don’t know what this is, so I’d very much like you to be my boyfriend, but only if that’s ok with you”_

_Nicky leaned forward and kissed him. That was a yes._

-

Joe hesitated, was this really a good idea? Had he been too impulsive? Why did he go on a date with his ex? No, it wasn’t a date, just coffee or tea, just a little catch up as they haven’t seen each other in years. Just to see what has been going on the past couple of years. To see how the other one was doing. 

  
  


The bistro wasn’t that busy yet this early in the morning, mostly people picking up coffee and pastries and things to go. Nicky was early as he delivered a big part of the baked goods the bistro had on offer. He also planned on having some breakfast there as he provided it anyway.   
Only, he didn’t expect Joe to be early, why could the man never be on time. Nicky wasn’t ready yet, he was still chewing and hastily tried to wipe crumbs from his t-shirt as he stood up to greet Joe. 

“Hi… ehm…” Nicky didn’t get a chance to word his awkwardness and was pulled into a hug quickly.   
Joe let go as he noticed they probably shouldn’t be as familiar as they used to be.   
“Hi, sorry, I didn’t mean to… you know I’m a hugger, it’s just so nice to see you.” Joe just stood there for a second before he took his coat off in lack of anything else to do. “Let me just go get a tea or something” He walked over to the counter which also allowed him a moment to breathe. 

Meanwhile Nicky didn’t realise he was holding a breath since he saw Joe coming in. Gladly his calm outside demeanor rarely betrayed him. This was just two old friends meeting again after a few years. 

-

_“Why are you munching on “over-processed snacks'' when there’s a perfectly fine cake sitting here that you made earlier?”_

_“Because I made it for_ you _… “_

-

Joe returned to the table triumphantly with a cup of tea and a muffin in hand “It’s great to be so early, I’ve never had one of these before. And you don’t have to feel weird finishing your… breakfast I suppose?”   
“Well, you were simply too early”   
“And miss you covered in crumbs? Never”   
They both laughed so freely, everything seemed so easy. 

They caught each other up on what had been going on in their lives in the past couple of years. Joe mentioned he had intended to go partly freelance a while back but then didn’t take the plunge. So Nicky told him about the ups and downs during his own journey and how he got to a point of stability with a couple of steady and regular gigs.

“Wait!” Joe exclaimed in the middle of their conversation “This is your work!” and he waved around his half-eaten muffin “I really should have known. It’s great!” 

Usually not shy about his work at all, Nicky’s cheeks might have turned a tiny bit pink now and he tried to brush it off “It’s nothing” 

“I thought you might have taken the managing job at the cafe, like you talked about” 

“I did keep working there while starting out, I’m glad I did. But I wanted to make more things rather than deal with people… that sounds wrong… you know what i mean… customer service...”

-

_“Are you jealous? I’m just being friendly, it’s good for tips. Besides, you’re the one who beams at everyone he lays eyes on.”_

-

Maybe they could try to be friends. 

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

They were really good at being friends. 

They would meet every now and then, and just have a chat and catch up for a little bit. What books they’ve read, exhibitions they’ve seen, restaurants they’d been to. 

-

_ “You want to watch that underwater documentary again? It might give me some inspiration for the next project, and it makes you sleepy. You really should try to get some more sleep”  _

-

“Where do you want to go for coffee this time?” 

“Oh, I can’t really, I’m helping out a friend at their place, they’re a person short this week” 

“I’m going into town today anyway. Text me the address”

“Ok... I won’t have much time, but I can promise tea and baked goods”

“Perfect. I’ll bring some work too, I just need to get out of the house” 

“I see you later, I gotta go” 

  
  


Sometimes there was no need or time for a long chat, it was still nice to catch up either way.

Joe found a spot even though the place was quite busy. After he had gotten himself tea and a pastry he got comfortable and took his laptop out to get some work done. The change of environment was good and he got engrossed in his commissions easily. 

It was a couple of hours later when Nicky stopped at his table “Hi. Sorry, I’ll be right with you, I just gotta bring these to the shelter around the corner” Nicky held up a big box of day old baked goods to indicate what he was doing. “After that my shift is over and I can finally have some coffee” Joe didn’t even get a word in and before he knew it Nicky was out the door. 

-

_ “The student union LBGTQ+ group meets here? _

_ “Yes, they hold their weekly coffee mornings here. It makes it accessible to non-students as well, just don’t tell the uni. Also basic tea and coffee are cheaper or free depending on people’s situation” _ _   
_ _ “By which Nicky means he pays for them usually”  _

-

“Sorry, it took longer than I thought. I hadn’t been there in some time” Nicky says as he lets himself fall into the seat across from Joe.

“That’s ok. I was just getting some more work done” with that he closes his laptop but stays a little unfocused.

“Don’t worry, they’re open for another hour, my shift is just over.” He leaned back in his seat and stifled a yawn. “I’m really not used to being on my feet all day anymore”

Joe gave a weak smile in return.    
Nicky stayed quiet as well and sipped his coffee for a moment before he couldn’t bear it any longer.    
“What’s going on? Something is off…” 

“It’s fine-... No. I just don’t really want to talk about it” 

“Ok. No problem” Nicky turned his attention back to his coffee and closed his eyes for a minute. It’s been a long day. 

He heard Joe shuffle around and then taking a deep breath. 

“I wasn’t sure how to tell you… I’m not sure how to tell  _ anyone _ really.” Joe sighed and looked away as best he could.   
Nicky was worried as well as a little confused, however he did want to give Joe all the time he needed for whatever this was. 

“Like, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Relationships end, it’s just something that happens… right?” 

“You two... broke up?”    
Joe just nodded without looking up. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I really wasn’t expecting you two to break up” Nicky sincerely felt sorry for them both, they were so good together. 

“It’s ok. It was very amicable. We-- It just took us a long time to realise that this wasn’t really what either of us wanted, not really at least. I mean don’t get me wrong, we took our time, it was gentle and sweet. It just worked, it was nice. It was easy and things were going well. We would have settled and gotten comfortable… just living alongside each other not so much  _ with  _ each other.”

-

_ “Can you sit down, please, Nicky? Just for a minute” _

_ “But the sauce, I need to stir--… “ _

_ “PLEASE?!”  _

_ Nicky wasn’t used to seeing such a pained expression on Joe’s face. So he reluctantly turned off the heat and sat down.  _

_ There was a distance between them, had been there for a while, so many unspoken words.  _

_ Joe put his hands on the table but without reaching out. “I-... there is this job… it’s the perfect opportunity… but it is far away”  _

_ So they broke up.  _

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

_ “You look cold. Are you cold? Wait, just give me a second…” with that Nicky had disappeared behind a ‘Staff only’ door. He came back holding a black bundle of fabric. “Here you can borrow this. I gotta go back to work” Nicky placed a kiss on Joe’s temple before he left again. _

_ Joe held up the bundle of fabric and realised it was a hoodie. Nicky must have kept it here at work just in case. Well, Joe was cold so he put it on. It smelled a bit like old grease but it was warm. And it also smelled like Nicky. Cosy and happy Joe went back to his sketchbook. _ _   
  
_

-

“Are you sure you want to go see this exhibition?”    
“Well… I thought you could use a distraction, you know after last week…. and I spend too much time in cafés and kitchens so I needed to get out too, so win-win” Nicky shrugged when they entered the building. 

It was a fairly small gallery with a focus on local artists working in a range of media.

They’ve walked around in comfortable silence for a while. Nicky was drawn to a massive collage piece and studied it from up close. 

"That’s… new…" Joe was surprised.

“I can still appreciate art even without knowing anything about it” 

“Since when? 

“Back then I just didn’t want to ruin things with my opinion, I just didn’t feel qualified to comment on...  _ your  _ work”

“But you never said  _ anything _ , I found that very difficult. I would have liked an outside opinion” 

“I’m truly sorry about that. I know better now” 

-

_ “Could you at least sit with me at the kitchen table to have dinner, please?” _

_ “Look, I’m trying to be supportive and everything but i’m also trying to go to work to pay for most of this flat. I really don’t have time”  _

_ “Just please eat something when you get a break”  _

_ - _

“Did you see the poster? They’re always looking for local artists” Nicky said, pointing to it, when they were leaving the gallery. 

“I don’t really do exhibitions anymore. I haven’t done an original piece in… probably years now”   
“But you’ve always done so much” 

“During university I had to, we were able to experiment and try things, now it’s-…” Joe sighed.    
“You have to pay the bills?” 

“Well, yes” 

“That sounds very unlike you” 

“I’m not the same person anymore” 

-

_ “Hey, sorry it got so late-... Joe? What’s going on? Why are you crying?” Nicky is next to him on the sofa in an instant. _

_ Joe sniffles and gestures at the TV “The-- the octopus just died... “ _ _   
_ _ “Oh” Nicky pulled him close. Joe and his big big heart. “Maybe a little less underwater documentaries for you from now on” he placed a kiss on Joe’s temple.  _

_ They sat like that for a moment.  _

_ Joe sat up and took one of Nicky’s hands “Why are you so cold? You’re not getting sick, are you?” _

_ “I’m fine. I underestimated how cold it’d be walking home at midnight. And I had lent my hoodie to  _ someone _ earlier today already.”  _ _   
_ _ Joe let out a pained noise, his emotions still all over the place.  _ _   
_ _ “You needed it more. I’m fine, and now you can keep me warm.” _

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

When Nicky woke up late that morning his phone informed him he got a voice message. Who even does that? He really wasn’t a big fan of them. Before thinking better of it he did hit the ‘play’ button after all.

_   
_ _ “Hi, I won’t have time this week, I’m really sorry. But I’m finally moving house. No, I don’t need any help, thank you very much. I’ll invite you over when I’ve properly moved in. Bye”  _

Joe hadn’t left any room for interpretation. Joe knew him too well. But Nicky couldn’t resist texting back    
_ >> I can’t just let you move like that. Please tell me the address? I promise I won’t comment on boxes around or anything. And can bring food or coffee << _

Joe only texted back in the evening when he couldn’t find the box with his pots and pans, and he really couldn’t be bothered to cook anyway. He sent a text with his new address and a second message: 

_ << Bring food please! >> _

Nicky stared at the address for a minute. It was close, like four streets over, close. He packed his things and made a detour to the Chinese restaurant of his choice to get dinner. 

Half an hour later he rang the doorbell at Joe’s new place. 

Joe looked tired but was still grinning from ear to ear. “FOOD! I’m so glad you’re here!” 

Nicky didn’t dare ask if that had been directed at the food or him.

“We’ll have to sit on the floor, but I’ve found plates and cutlery just earlier” Joe turned in a circle finding the right box again. 

“Not a problem at all. But Joe, can I first… I brought you a housewarming present” he awkwardly stood in the kitchen between boxes. 

  
“Ha!” Joe triumphantly held up a plate and a bowl before he turned around to Nicky again “You really didn’t have to. But of course you did” 

“Bread and salt. For settledness, prosperity, and… fertility usually. Didn’t think that one through, did I. It’s also supposed to protect you from the devil and evil spirits” Nicky rubbed at his neck and tried to look anywhere else. 

“Thank you so much! This is the very first housewarming gift I got! And of course you made it yourself” Joe beamed and smelled the bread.

“It’s just soda bread, but yes of course”    
“Thank you, really”    
What Joe didn’t mention was that he knew the bread and salt tradition in a different way. He had learnt it to be an expression of alliance and rapprochement between two people. 

-

_ “What is going on?”  _

_ “I made bread when I got home” _ _   
_ _ “It's 4 in the morning” _

_ “It’s soda bread. Well, two. Dates and walnuts. And olives, capers and sundried tomatoes”  _

_ “It's 4 in the morning!” _

-

“You’re itching to comment on the space, I can tell” 

They were both still sitting on the floor, knees touching, just having finished their dinner. Nicky looked around pretending to take in his surroundings for the first time today. “No, no comment” 

Joe gave him a look and raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s so small!” Nicky burst out, yes he held back earlier “Where are you going to set up your studio space? There’s not really space for any big canvases. And the kitchen is tiny”    
“Are you done?”    
“Well, the kitchen might just be my particular thing”    
Joe leaned back against one of the many boxes “you know, I quite like it and I will figure it out. It’s a new start” 

Nicky felt a knot in his stomach and it wasn’t the food “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything”    
“No, I appreciate the honesty really. I’m just happy to have a space of my own finally” Joe started stacking empty food boxes together.   
“Oh, I know that feeling. Do whatever you want whenever you want” Nicky mused more to himself than anything.   
“Are you telling me you dance through your flat naked while listening to your terrible 80s jams?”    
“No… but I  _ could”  _

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Next time they met, Joe was standing in front of Nicky’s flat; he thought it only fair to come over to Nicky’s place this time. 

  
“I don’t know why you insisted on coming over today. I have work to finish” 

“I come bearing gifts that couldn’t wait. I don’t have to stay too long”   
Nicky led him through a cosy living room to the massive kitchen.    
“Wow you really weren’t exaggerating” 

“You know I need the space”    
There were ingredients already measured out on the counter. Nicky went to grab an apron to put on.    
“Do you have a minute now? To sit down maybe?” Joe was still standing there clutching a box in his hands.   
“Oh! Right, yes, now is good” Nicky pulled up two stools, from under what seemed to be a breakfast bar, and sat down.    
“You mentioned gifts?” He looked like a child at Christmas. 

Joe put the box down and sat too “I have to admit, it's not from  _ me  _ personally.” He slid the box over to Nicky, who only now realised it was actually a food container. 

-

_ “Thank you for bringing me breakfast, you really didn’t have to.” Joe had just gotten up to go to an early lecture. _

_ Nicky just got home from a long shift. “It’s the least I can do, we hardly see each other anymore. The bakery is on my way home anyway and they make exceptions for people who do night shifts.”  _

-

“Why would you bring  _ me _ food?”    
Joe let out a small sigh “ _ I’m _ not. Just open it, you’ll see” 

Nicky carefully opened the container to take a peek and then gasped in surprise “Oh my god! Your mother's  [ Makroudh ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makroudh) ?“ He breathed in the sweet smell.

“She made some extra especially for you and she made me promise to not eat any myself because they are, and I quote “for my dearest Nicolo”” Now he had said it out loud it sounded silly, but she had insisted.

Nicky wasn’t able to answer as he was munching away happily on a first piece. He was beaming “They are just soooo good! You know I've tried and failed making them in the past”

  
Joe didn’t say,I know, I was there. He only smiled and said  _ “Miserably _ failed, I might add”

“Please, tell her, thank you, thank you so much, from me” 

Joe shifted a little awkwardly in his seat “Actually about that... Mama asked if I could take a photo… just to proof that I didn’t eat any and that you’ve received them”    
“Of course, no problem” Nicky moved and held up the food container for the photo and smiled brightly “anything for Mama al-Kaysani”    
Joe chuckled and took the picture. “Thank you, she’ll love it” The photo was actually quite adorable, Joe had to admit. 

“I really should stop eating or they won’t last. And I really need to get some work done” with that Nicky stood and put the box in a safe place out of reach for now.    
“You don’t  _ have _ to leave though, despite of what I’ve said

”   
They looked at each other for a moment, neither entirely sure what was going on.    
In lieu to look away Joe checked his watch for time “I guess I have another hour to spare”    
“Tea?” Nicky had already turned to put the kettle on. 

“Thank you”    
Nicky moved his attention to the cookbook in front of him and flipped to the right page and had to put on his reading glasses, he double-checked that he had everything he needed. 

  
Joe’s mouth went dry and he had to swallow hard before he could say anything “Since when do you need these?”    
“Don’t you dare make fun of me” Nicky was pointing a knife at Joe, for emphasis maybe. 

“I would never! They actually look… quite good”    
Nicky gave him a look over the brim of the glasses, not really believing him. 

“I need them to read the tiny print in some of those really old cookbooks. Plus I’m not getting any younger” 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

_ “You were helping the kids from the LGBTQ+ group again, right? And now you have to pull an all-nighter to get your own uni work done? You’re too kind. I’ll make you more tea” _ _   
_ _ “I love you”  _

-

They had finally managed to meet up at a café once again. Being at each other's home felt nice and comfortable, but maybe a bit too much so.    
“Are you sure you want another coffee? It’s still early”    
“That’s exactly why I need another one”    
Joe went to get their orders and came back with two steaming cups and muffin, which he cut in half once he was back at the table.   
“Here, you don’t look like you’ve had breakfast today” He shoved the plate with half the muffing over to Nicky, who was just about to protest.   
“It’s fine I’ll eat later”    
Joe raised an eyebrow “Please, eat”   
There was no point in arguing with Joe on this, so they sat in silence for a moment. 

When Nicky looked up he saw Joe was studying him and without any intent to stop now he had been caught. He couldn’t look away. 

“Nicky, do you ever get to take a break?” 

“Of course” Nicky said without hesitation but then sighed and put his cup down “ What do you mean?” 

“Look, I really don’t mean to intrude” Joe took a deep breath before he continued “I know you love your work and do whatever you can to help out at the shelter. But do you ever take time for yourself?” 

“I do” then Nicky actually thought about it because Joe had that worry in his eyes and he couldn’t handle that. 

“Have I told you I started to knit a while back?” Nicky blushed a little and now Joe couldn’t look away so he just smiled “I thought I saw some yarn in your living room but I didn’t dare ask. That’s great though!” 

“Most of it is for the shelter really, there’s always a lack of warm things…” 

“Nicky please, you’re just proving my point now! You’ve been to enough meetings of the student group to know how important self-care is. You can’t help anyone if you’re exhausted all the time. Try to be a tiny bit more selfish” 

“I’m having coffee here with you, is that not selfish?    
“No, no, you’re indulging  _ me _ , so not selfish at all” 

“Thank you for sharing your breakfast” 

-

_ “Why do you look like you want to murder me? Nicky?” _ _   
_ _ “I don’t share food. I hate when people pick things off my plate, get your own”  _ _   
_ _ “But I’m--” _ _   
_ _ “That goes for everyone, no matter how much I love them”  _

-

“You really have to knit me something some time, even though that goes against what I’ve just said”    
“Sure, I take requests. Actually, there’s this really sweet yarn shop like 10 minutes from my place. You’d really appreciate their colour coordinated displays” 

Joe swallowed the last bite of muffin and moved to put his jacket on “Then let’s go now” 

“Really? You’re ridiculous!”    
And by all that is holy Joe winked, Nicky almost dropped his cup and then busied himself grabbing his things to leave. 

“Oh you really weren’t exaggerating, look at all this sorted by the colours of the rainbow” Joe was beaming when they stepped into the little yarn shop. 

And of course Nicky was greeted by name by the shop assistant. 

“Joe, wait!” Nicky had to physically hold him back. “You can pick two, no three colours, because I’m feeling generous. And I’ll make you… a hat? Gotta keep those ears warm”    
So Joe happily went off to pick the perfect shades. 

  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

_ “The stars dimmed at the brightness of your laugh”  _ _   
_ _ “There were no stars, it was sunrise”  _

_ “But that’s what I was thinking, that’s what it felt like”  _

-

Nicky had to prove to himself and mostly to Joe, that he actually could practice self care. And letting the other one know about it was probably against the whole point, but it felt important to him.

_ >> Just wanted to let you know I’ve ordered food for the first time in years as part of my self-care evening today. It feels very strange and I don’t know what to do with myself. I blame you << _

_ << Enjoy! I very happily take the blame for that :) >> _

_ << I have an important deadline so I won’t really be available this weekend, just wanted to let you know >> _

_ >> make sure to take breaks << _

Nicky was just about to get really comfortable and cosy on the sofa with his favourite blanket when he had texted Joe, and now the lack of a reply now made him worry. Self-care evening be damned. He called the place from where he had ordered his dinner and added more to his order. He got up and wrapped the blanket around him like a cape, he grabbed his knitting and a book, and waited for dinner to arrive. 

Joe was busy with this commission and the client kept changing or adding things last minute. Definitely not one of his favourite jobs. They were obsessing over tiny details without trusting him and his expertise and experience to deliver the right product. He sighed once again and went to put more tea on. When suddenly his doorbell rang frantically. Who the hell could that be now? 

He debated just ignoring it for a moment, but he can’t just do that, it might be important. Maybe one of his neighbours was in trouble.

So Joe went to open the door, bracing himself for anything.    
Just nothing could have prepared him for what he actually saw. 

Nicky smiling brightly at him, bag of takeaway food in one hand, basket with knitting in the other, dark green blanket draped around his shoulders.    
Joe was rarely lost for words “You…”

“Hi, yes, me. I bring food. Which I didn’t make for once” 

Joe still didn’t say anything.   
“Sorry I didn’t mean to ambush or intrude. I just-- You have to take care of yourself too” 

“Please, come in. I just wasn’t expecting anyone, and I didn’t even realise what time it was” He lead the way to the kitchen and started to get plates and cutlery out “So, thank you” 

They ate dinner on the sofa in mostly comfortable silence before it dawned on Joe “Wait, what about your self-care evening?” 

“No need to worry, I brought my self-care to you, hence the blanket. I only put on proper shoes to walk over here, everything else is the same” 

“I really have to go back to work now” Joe said after they had finished eating and he started stacking the plates. Nicky reached out and put his hand over Joe’s “Leave this to me” 

They shared a look that would shake others to the core. Nicky hastily got up to take the plates to the kitchen “Do you mind if I open the cupboards to put things back?”    
“Not at all, make yourself right at home” Oh. Was that too much?

Nicky cleaned the plates and put them away in the right place after opening all the cupboards to find out where they go. That way he also found a small tin of instant coffee he recognised, his favourite brand (not that he drank instant coffee often but in emergencies (like today) it would do). He got two mugs out and made tea for Joe and coffee for himself. 

“You really don’t have to--” Joe tried to protest when a steaming mug was put in front of him.    
“Just say thank you” Nicky smiled in a way that wouldn’t take any other answer.   
“Thank you, Nicky, I really appreciate it” there was so much genuineness in Joe’s eyes that Nicky had to look away.    
He let Joe work and got comfortable in the armchair with his coffee and his knitting. He had even brought his reading glasses to count the stitches accurately. 

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

Neither of them noticed how time flew and it got dark outside. 

Nicky was focused on counting stitches and changing colours again, as he heard Joe groan loudly.   
“I need a break! This is getting ridiculous!” Joe put his pen down with a bit too much force and then came over to flop down on the sofa, sighing in relief. 

“Joe?” 

“Hm?” He kept his eyes closed.

“You remember when you made fun of me for my reading glasses?” 

“I didn’t!” Joe protested.    
“Well, I’m just glad to see I’m not the only one getting old here” Nicky said and gestured over to Joe who was wearing glasses himself now, round ones with a thin frame. 

“I need them because of all the screens I stare at all day”

“Just please take them off when you plan on having a nap” 

Joe put the glasses on the on the couch table “I really shouldn’t” 

  
Nicky turned his attention back to his knitting and only noticed five rows later that he hadn’t heard any noise from Joe’s direction in some time. Nicky smiled to himself and let the other man sleep for a while. He got another five rows done before he finally checked time for the first time this evening.

It was almost midnight! He really should go home, he quietly got up and packed his couple of things together. But now he couldn’t just leave without saying anything. He looked at Joe’s sleeping form for a moment before grabbing a blanket from the back of the sofa to drape over him. 

  
Nicky crouched down to whisper “Joe? I’m going home now. It’s midnight”

Joe shifted and blinked sleepily “Wait… stay?”    
“What?” 

Joe reached out to take Nicky’s hand “Stay? Please?”    
Nicky just stared at him not knowing what to say to that. Joe tried it with a fond smile, looking into Nicky’s eyes that could make you lay your soul bare. 

“Stay? I-- I miss you…” Joe gently tried to pull him closer. 

Nicky kept staring at him. “A-- are you sure?” 

This was more than unexpected. They had just gotten so comfortable around each other again. Would this ruin everything? It hadn’t worked out the first time around. 

But did he not crave the familiarity, the comfort? 

“We’ll have to talk about this in the morning” 

Joe had already moved to make space and now held up the blanket so Nicky could crawl under it too. It was like puzzle pieces slotting into their right place.

“Is this ok? Can I--?” Joe’s hand hovered over Nicky’s waist not wanting to assume anything, getting consent. In lieu of an answer Nicky reached up to put his hand over Joe’s and pulled it in place. “Now please go back to sleep” 

-

_ “I’m so cold every night when I try to fall asleep without you here” _ _   
_ _ “I’m here now, please try to go back to sleep”  _

-

At the first light Nicky couldn’t sleep any longer. It hadn’t been a dream, he felt and saw Joe’s arm around him, so close. As stealthily as possible he untangled himself and went to hide in the bathroom for a good five minutes to calm down a little bit.    
This wouldn’t work. They’ve been through this before. A certain pull or familiarity was undeniable and now it had been confirmed that it hadn’t been purely one sided.    
He washed his face and dared to use some of the mouthwash, just to feel more like a person again. Only then he peeked back out and swiftly made his way to the kitchen. He couldn’t just leave. Should he make breakfast? It was 6am on a Sunday so maybe not. He settled for coffee and quietly went to stand by the window in the living room to watch the rest of the sunrise. 

Joe had woken up when he noticed something, someone, was missing. The warmth was gone. Had he gone too far? Did he only imagine it all in his sleepy state? He grabbed a pillow just to hold onto something. His eyes landed on the burnt orange half-finished knitted hat on the couch table, he got distracted by how the other colours interweaved with each other and how intricate the pattern was. Wait. That could only mean Nicky was still here? Unless he bolted. 

Joe’s memory was a bit hazy as he tried to think of what he had said last night. The one thing he remembered clearly was that he was looking into Nicky’s eyes and then he couldn’t lie to him any longer.

He did miss him, even if he was well aware that it all didn’t work out the first time around. Who was to say?    
Joe finally risked to turn his head to look around for any more signs of the other man.    
Joe’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Nicky standing by the window immersed by the purpley orange glow of the sunrise. He was even holding a cup of coffee, Joe assumed, a mirror image of that morning they had first met all these years ago. 

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic just ran away with me and turned out differently than I had intended

“Nicolò?” 

There was a loud shattering noise. “ _Maporcaputtana!!_... shit!… could you not do that?!”

Nicky picked up the largest shards and almost ran to the kitchen to get something to clean up the coffee that was rapidly spreading on the floor.

At least Joe was wide awake now too and sat up but better not interfered any more. He watched from the sofa, patiently waiting for Nicky to be done so they could attempt to talk about things. 

“Ouch!” Now there was suddenly blood dripping on the floor as well. 

Joe sprang into action and went to get the first aid kit from the bathroom before kneeling down next to Nicky while also avoiding any splinters. “Let me see” He was getting out gauze and disinfectant, the worry very obvious in his features. 

Nicky kept holding his finger “It’s fine, nothing bad, I cut myself all the time while working. Don’t worry. Fingers just bleed a lot, it’s not as bad as it looks” 

Of course that didn’t do anything to reassure Joe “Please just let me help” 

Joe’s worried puppy eyes didn’t help at all, so Nicky caved and held out his hand.

With the most careful and gentle touch, Joe had cleaned and wrapped the small cut in no time. 

“Let’s go sit on the sofa, the floor is not the most comfortable”

“But I should really clean this, you’ll never get your deposit back”

“I don’t care”

“But--”

“I don’t care”  
Joe insisted and stood up, holding out a hand to help Nicky up. 

“You really have to let go of me now, please”  
Joe sat back on the sofa again not even realising he had still been holding Nicky’s hand, he reluctantly let go. Nicky sat in the armchair again, getting some distance between them, he sighed. “This is too easy, too quickly, too comfortable, too… “ he was gesturing wildly not sure what word he was looking for. 

“Too good?” 

“Please” 

“Too perfect? 

“Stop”

“Amazing?”

_“Yusuf!”_

The silence was abrupt, almost jarring. 

“I’m sorry… this… friendship is just too precious. We can’t just go back to old habits, we both know that didn’t work out in the long run.” 

“However, can I say--”

“Don’t you dare quote any poetry at me!”

“I wasn’t, but now you’re giving me ideas” and Joe actually had the audacity to wink at him.

“Oh my god! I can’t look at you!” Nicky buried his face in his hands so he didn’t have to look. 

“I’m not doing anything” 

“You know exactly what you did. But keep talking, I’m listening”

Joe took a deep breath trying to find just the right words.

“When I said, I missed you last night, I didn’t _just_ mean in that very moment. I meant I miss you in my life. Every day. Reconnecting and building this new friendship was-- is wonderful. But can you deny that there is something else? Something more? It just felt so right, you being here yesterday.” Joe paused to give Nicky a chance to say something, but he was still not looking and just waved a hand indicating to keep going. 

“Yes, you’re right it didn’t work out the first time around. We had our problems, our discrepancies, we had different goals, wanted different things. Different stages of our lives even” 

“We’re only three years apart Joe”

“You know that’s not what I meant” 

“How is it different now than it was seven years ago?” 

“We’re older, have more life experience. No uni work that takes over my life, no 12 hour shifts just to make ends meet. We’re different people than when we were 20, I get that, and we can’t just start anew and ignore what we’ve had. We’ll have to figure some things out… But we could do it together. You’re the first person I want to tell when something great has happened or something horrible… can you please look at me? I’m running out of words here”

“As if” Nicky finally looked up with the tiniest smile. 

“I’m not sure what you want to hear Joe”

“I’ll take anything you want to share. Just please talk to me” 

Nicky got up and went to sit at the other end of the sofa, leaving as much distance as he could. 

“There’s so many emotions in me sometimes that I feel like I’m bursting at the seams. And you’re just there, and give me time. You know I can’t believe we haven’t really argued since we reconnected, this is so different from the relationship I remember. In the little time we spent together before we broke up, we were arguing almost constantly. About the tiniest things. I’m so afraid we’ll get back to that. I hated it. I think I even hated _you_ for a moment…” Nicky wiped away a tear or two, only now realising how the emotions had bubbled up. 

“Can I please--” Joe’s voice broke and he shuffled a little closer before trying again “Can I please hug you?” 

Nicky took a breath and nodded. He got pulled into Joe’s chest in an instant.

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

“I might have been a bit of a selfish prick back then” 

Nicky freed himself of the embrace looking outraged  _ “You? _ Never!” 

That put a little bit of distance between them again. 

“Wait, you were just trying to change the subject and take my mind off things” 

Joe gave him a blazing smile “Worked, didn’t it?” 

“Can we now try to be practical about this?” 

“I will have to insist on you giving me some space in the kitchen”

“Only if you label your paint mugs and drinking mugs accordingly” 

“Oh I got a paint plate now as well, you’ll love this” 

Nicky let out a snort-laugh, he just couldn’t help himself. 

“This is supposed to be a serious and pragmatic talk, please” 

“Ok, sure” Joe sat up straighter “I should have made a list” 

Nicky rolled his eyes “Yes, I wasn’t prepared for this either” 

“Right, number two, no cooking or baking at four in the morning, unless I approve of it...hmm... 24 hours beforehand”

“Done. Please dry your brushes anywhere else but the kitchen. And stay away from my pastry brush.” 

“Not a problem. You’ll have to let me cook at least one dinner a week  _ and _ you’ll have to sit at the kitchen table to eat it.”

“You’re not making it easy, are you? Ok, but you’ll have to remind me that I’ve willingly agreed to this.”    
“I will be happy to” 

“Would you at least consider taking some time to do your own art again? I think the world is missing out” 

Joe’s eyes got a little teary “I will definitely consider that”

“I’ll happily give an opinion on art even without knowing much about it, if that’s what you want”

“It’s highly appreciated. No life drawing modeling for other people.”

“That was before we even met! But yes, done. Underw-- wait,  _ any _ animal documentaries only under supervision” 

“Your supervision I assume. Deal.” Joe was thinking about the next thing on his mental list.

“Wait! We’re already talking like we’re moving back in together. I think we should backtrack quite a bit. This is way too fast” Nicky moved to put a little more distance between them. 

“Do we really want to be in a relationship again?”    
“I do” 

“Oh I really should have rephrased that”

“Now, the question is, do you, Nicky?” 

“With some of these new ground rules established, I would like to try and see where this takes us, yes”

The relief on Joe’s face was clear and he moved a little closer again. “Feel free to come over anytime, just please let me know a bit beforehand? The ambush was a bit much”

“Same goes for you I guess” 

“Right” there was a twinkle in Joe’s eyes “now please tell me what those little clips are on your knitting? I dare to assume that’s my hat?” 

Nicky grabbed it all and made sure to not unravel anything by accident “Yes this will be yours” he sat closer to Joe to show him “and these are stitch markers, they help to keep track of the rows or work as reminders for when to turn or change stitches. Look, I have these cute little sheep ones even” 

“I love how excited you are about this” Joe shifted and took a deep breath “Now... can I  _ finally _ kiss you?” 

Perplexed, Nicky dropped the knitting but nodded, words momentarily escaping him. Joe pulled him closer and their lips finally met again after years of being apart. 

  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

Why was he ever so slightly being pushed away now? 

They both had to come up for air and...

“Oh! Ew,I’m so sorry! Morning breath!” Joe jumped up and basically ran into the bathroom to brush his teeth.  
  
Nicky couldn’t stop laughing and went to put the kettle on. 

When Joe appeared in the kitchen he looked a bit sheepish, very unlike him.

Nicky just raised an eyebrow “Do you want to try that again?” 

“Please” Joe closed the distance between them and they kissed again like they were making up for lost time. 

It was new and familiar at the same time, scrambling hands trying to find their ways again, trying to get closer and stumbling around in the kitchen in the process.  
They finally broke apart when Nicky’s back hit the edge of the counter with a loud thump. 

“Ow!” 

“Oh I’m so sorry! I promise it’s really not my intention to get you hurt today” 

Nicky leaned forward to kiss the worry off of Joe’s face “I will live, don’t worry” 

Their foreheads touched and they stayed as close as possible for a while, breathing the same breath, neither really wanting to let go. 

Nicky spoke quietly as to not spook anyone “Did I ever tell you that I found the ominous watercolour brush?”  
  
“The one we spent a day and a night looking for? Making a huge mess of the place cause I needed that specific one for my project?” 

“The one and the same. I’ve found it amongst the cutlery when I’ve moved out” Nicky didn’t add that he has kept it there ever since. 

“We really do have to keep our work stuff apart. Or I’ll just look there first, next time”  
Joe smiled fondly and looked like he had just remembered something else. “You don’t have work today, right?”

“Only a couple things to prepare but I can do that in the evening” 

Joe pecked his lips again then stepped back a little “Now listen carefully and no complaints; I’ll make us breakfast”  
“But--”

“Ah! What did I say?” Joe held up his hand to accentuate his words “Actually it might be better if you go do something else in the meantime”

Pouting now Nicky crossed his arms over his chest “You didn’t even ask if I wanted anything” 

“You can always eat” then Joe was taken aback for a second and looked apologetic “Unless that has totally changed”

Nicky sighed “No, you’re right, of course you are”

“Oh, does that mean I will have to start keeping granola bars everywhere again? For my boyfriend?”

“Oh you’re unbearable!” 

“Like you are when your blood sugar drops” Joe stated matter of factly before he got a pan out and then peered into the fridge for a moment. 

“Joe?”

“Hm?”

“You said _boyfriend_ ” 

Joe closed the fridge to look at him “Too soon?”

“You-- I-- Can we wait a couple of days till we tell anyone maybe? Until we’re sure about this? Not that I’m not sure, I am. Well, just maybe... “ 

“Hey, Nicky?” Joe came around and took Nicky’s hands in his “I understand what you mean, and it’s way too early on a Sunday morning to make decisions like this. From tomorrow we will see how this works in daily life really. And then next weekend we can tell somebody?” 

“How did I forget how amazing you are”

“I honestly don’t know” Joe grinned and turned again to finally start to make them some breakfast when he stopped in his tracks again.

“Can you imagine my Mama’s face? We’ll have to video call her, she’ll be so excited” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be an epilogue


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my apologies if there are too many tropes and clichés in this whole fic  
> I just couldn't help myself

It had been over a month now since that fateful weekend.  
Each slotting into the other’s life like a puzzle piece that had been missing.   
However, in practice, it wasn't _that_ easy. Relationships need work and attention and compromise and more.   
They were both very aware of that, there was a lot more communication and worded concern than ever before. Generally more talking and less assuming. Sometimes a simple “I don’t want to talk about it now, but I’ll tell you tomorrow” would go a long way without either one feeling pressured into anything.  
It was a whole different relationship and dynamic than all those years ago. They would always say, they had been young and dumb, even though they knew it had been more complicated than that. 

One discussion point that kept coming up was the one about letting the other know before coming over. 

_ >>Will be at yours in 2 mins<< _

_ <<I’m outside your door already>> _

_ >>I know we said 6pm but I didn’t want to wait. It’s 3pm now, where are you?<< _

_ <<I wanted to go home but I just found myself here, outside your building>>  
_

It was one of these occasions when Nicky showed up almost unannounced.

“You’re texting me while knocking at my door at the same time?” Joe wasn’t really expecting anyone else so kind of neglected greetings in the first place.

“This really couldn’t wait” Nicky almost seemed desperate which was so very unlike him. 

“Come on in” Joe closed the door and leaned in for a kiss “Hi” 

“Hi to you too” Nicky visibly relaxed a little. 

Joe steered them to the sofa to sit. That also gave him time to notice what Nicky was wearing, pyjamas by the look of it and then a massively oversized hooded cardigan but it was baby pink? Joe smiled and tried to lighten the mood teasingly, gesturing to Nicky “What do you call this?” 

“Comfortable” Nicky deadpanned like it was the most normal thing in the world. He did however look a little bit less nervous now. 

Joe sat back and stayed quiet to give Nicky time to start talking in his own time, his own terms. 

“What a week, huh?” Nicky was very obviously, very unsuccessfully deflecting.  
“We’ve seen each other only two days ago, please tell me what’s going on” 

“I’m sorry to barge in, I just really couldn’t wait” Nicky paused, trying to find the right words, getting his stumbling thoughts in order. He focused on his breathing while clutching a small box, that Joe had only just now noticed. 

“My neighbour stopped by just earlier. You know the little old lady, who lives in the flat below mine?” Joe nodded, he remembered seeing her once or twice, she seemed very fond of Nicky. 

“She’s always the first to know of any gossip and whatnot. So… she came to tell him that two buildings over, somebody was moving out and that the place is quite bigger than mine, and she had wanted to let me know first because… because she noticed how much time we were spending together, she thought we might like the place…” 

Joe almost didn’t dare to breathe as he wasn’t sure what was coming next. 

“Basically…” Nicky started again and held out the small box for Joe to take. “The question is, wouldyouliketomoveintogether?” 

“What?” 

“The gift is more symbolic than anything really” 

Joe was reluctant to open it “Can you please repeat what you’ve just said?”

“My neighbour--”

“No, no, just the last bit?” 

Nicky took a deep breath “Would you… like to… move in together?” 

“The box is way too big for a key…” 

“Oh my god” Nicky let out an exasperated sigh “just answer the question” 

“I don’t understand the gift…” It was a brush, for watercolour it seemed, but it was obviously used. Wait. Oh. That was his. The one they had ransacked their whole flat for, over 7 years ago. 

“You’ve… you’ve kept it” Joe was tearing up, overcome with emotions.

Nicky was on tenterhooks because Joe still hadn’t answered his question. 

“Yes, I do want to move in with you.” He pulled him close for a kiss. 

“We should have written down all the things we’ve talked about last month” 

“As long as we keep talking and making decisions together we should be fine” 

Joe looked down at the brush again, memories flooding back about moving furniture in the middle of the night to look behind it. Searching every nook and cranny of the sofa. The yelling. The unbearable silence. Aggravated looks for days to follow. 

No, this was different now. They will make it work and not lose each other. They were meant to find each other again at that engagement party. 

Nicky leaned forward for another kiss as Joe seemed a little too far lost in thought. 

Joe beamed at him a second later. 

“I still can’t believe you’ve kept the brush, after everything. You incurable romantic”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there might be some more little bits from this universe at some point as it just lives in my mind rent free


End file.
